**Pictures** Weekly Follow Up...I got to wear a Bra!

Good Morning everyone!!  Wanted to check in and let everyone know how things are going.  Had my weekly follow up appointment last Tuesday, it was the best appointment so far as I FINALLY got the last 2 drains removed!!  Everyone told me that those were the worst part of this surgery, and while at first they didn't tend to bother me much, the past week or so they were in was the most annoying feeling ever.  Basically every time Shane had to strip the drain tubes, it would feel like someone was trying to pull a fish hook out of my skin.  Definitely something I don't want to have to deal with again.  Taking them out also allowed me to wear a bra too, it was nice the first couple days, but let's be honest ladies...it's nice to get them off at the end of the day!!  LOL  I keep reading in these Facebook groups that I am in that after these ladies got there Silicone implants in, they hardly ever wear a bra, I am kind of looking forward to that every once in while!! :-)

After the drainage tubes came out, they also pulled my Steri Strips off as well.  I didn't know exactly what to expect, I wasn't sure if there were sutures under the strips or not, and to my surprise there wasn't.  The sutures are underneath the skin.  I don't think I was quite prepared for what my breast was going to look like, it's pretty much my skin glued back together(Picture Below).  I did end up having a small issue with a large blister under the Steri Strip on my right breast and when the Dr. took the strip off the blister popped, but all is well with that and it's on the healing side now.  The Dr. told me everything was looking and healing GREAT!! 

I have been having quite a bit of emotional issues since my drains came out.  It's hard to wear any of my clothes, I don't wear a ton of baggy clothes, so the shirts that are tighter just look weird because my chest is so much smaller than before I went in for surgery.  I feel like I look like a freak and that everyone just stares at my breasts.  While I am extremely proud of myself for going through this surgery, I can't help to wonder what they are thinking while they are staring at me.  Sometimes I just want to tell them to please not stare I am 3 weeks out of a Double Mastectomy, but let's be real, I am not going to do that. 

I never thought in all of this time that I considered doing the surgery that the physical appearance aspect would get to me.  I am learning so much more about myself from all of this and the #1 thing I learned last week is that I as much as I say I don't care much what others think of me, I was completely wrong!  I am just the complete opposite.  I don't want my family or friends to be embarrassed to go out in public with me when I feel like I look like a freak.  I did purchase some inserts for my bra that helped with that issue this past weekend, so I didn't feel quite as down on myself.  I just have to keep reminding myself that this is just temporary and in 2 months or so, all will be back to normal. 

I go back for my next check up in Thursday, the plan is to start some physical therapy to get my range of motion back in my arms.  I am pretty good on the right side, but my left side is the problematic side.  It's painful to attempt to put my hair up in a pony tail of even put deodorant on(to which should no longer be an issue, I found spray deodorant last night at the store!!).  I also decided that I am going to go ahead with the prosthetic nipple.  The plan would be to take skin from my stomach area to make the nipples and areolas.  The areolas would be a flesh color, so if I want them darker I would need to get them tattooed. I am excited to slowly be getting back to myself and not having to rely on others for help as much!! Talk to you all after my next check up!!

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                                            Drains are out and Steri Strips are off!!!