Good Morning everyone!! Wanted to check in and let everyone know how things are going. Had my weekly follow up appointment last Tuesday, it was the best appointment so far as I FINALLY got the last 2 drains removed!! Everyone told me that those were the worst part of this surgery, and while at first they didn't tend to bother me much, the past week or so they were in was the most annoying feeling ever. Basically every time Shane had to strip the drain tubes, it would feel like someone was trying to pull a fish hook out of my skin. Definitely something I don't want to have to deal with again. Taking them out also allowed me to wear a bra too, it was nice the first couple days, but let's be honest ladies...it's nice to get them off at the end of the day!! LOL I keep reading in these Facebook groups that I am in that after these ladies got there Silicone implants in, they hardly ever wear a bra, I am kind of looking forward to that every once in while!! :-)
After the drainage tubes came out, they also pulled my Steri Strips off as well. I didn't know exactly what to expect, I wasn't sure if there were sutures under the strips or not, and to my surprise there wasn't. The sutures are underneath the skin. I don't think I was quite prepared for what my breast was going to look like, it's pretty much my skin glued back together(Picture Below). I did end up having a small issue with a large blister under the Steri Strip on my right breast and when the Dr. took the strip off the blister popped, but all is well with that and it's on the healing side now. The Dr. told me everything was looking and healing GREAT!!
I have been having quite a bit of emotional issues since my drains came out. It's hard to wear any of my clothes, I don't wear a ton of baggy clothes, so the shirts that are tighter just look weird because my chest is so much smaller than before I went in for surgery. I feel like I look like a freak and that everyone just stares at my breasts. While I am extremely proud of myself for going through this surgery, I can't help to wonder what they are thinking while they are staring at me. Sometimes I just want to tell them to please not stare I am 3 weeks out of a Double Mastectomy, but let's be real, I am not going to do that.
I never thought in all of this time that I considered doing the surgery that the physical appearance aspect would get to me. I am learning so much more about myself from all of this and the #1 thing I learned last week is that I as much as I say I don't care much what others think of me, I was completely wrong! I am just the complete opposite. I don't want my family or friends to be embarrassed to go out in public with me when I feel like I look like a freak. I did purchase some inserts for my bra that helped with that issue this past weekend, so I didn't feel quite as down on myself. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is just temporary and in 2 months or so, all will be back to normal.
I go back for my next check up in Thursday, the plan is to start some physical therapy to get my range of motion back in my arms. I am pretty good on the right side, but my left side is the problematic side. It's painful to attempt to put my hair up in a pony tail of even put deodorant on(to which should no longer be an issue, I found spray deodorant last night at the store!!). I also decided that I am going to go ahead with the prosthetic nipple. The plan would be to take skin from my stomach area to make the nipples and areolas. The areolas would be a flesh color, so if I want them darker I would need to get them tattooed. I am excited to slowly be getting back to myself and not having to rely on others for help as much!! Talk to you all after my next check up!!
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Drains are out and Steri Strips are off!!!
I can't even begin to explain the thoughts and feelings racing through my head the weeks leading up to Sept. 4. I was so nervous and had a ridiculous amount of anxiety yet I knew in the back of my head that I needed to do this not only for myself but for my family as well. There was a moment that I thought about calling the surgery off, feeling like I was making a mistake and I could just do the routine Mammogram and MRI's every 6 months, but then it hit me, did I really want to live in fear every 6 months waiting for the Dr. to call to tell me that nasty Cancer Beast has gotten me too?
Testing positive for the mutation in my ATM Gene raised my percentage of getting cancer to 60-90%. By having the mastectomy done, it would decrease the percentage to 2-5%. This gene is a newly tested gene, yet studies have shown that more and more each day it is being linked to breast cancer. Given the horrible family history we have, it was pretty much a no brainer to have this surgery. I did not want to have my family go through the same stress and heartbreak that we just went through over this past year with my Mom.
The morning of Sept. 4 was very emotional for me. My anxiety was at an all time high, but I just kept hearing my Mom's voice in my head, telling me how proud she was of us girls for taking the steps of being proactive. I am not normally a spiritual person, but since Mom passed, there has been many signs that she is here with me, and I could feel her with me the day of surgery. I knew all would be O.K. and I was going to make it out of surgery just fine!
The Drs. came in and both my breast surgeon and plastic surgeon assured me that I was making the right choice, and my breast surgeon said she would make the same decision if she was in the same boat. After explaining the 4 hour procedure to Shane and myself, they got me all hooked up and away I went down to the O.R.
I don't remember much after hopping from the bed to the surgery table, the only thing I really remember is the anestheolgist putting the mask over my face and asking me about a happy vacation I had over the Summer, of course I proudly yelled, HODAG!! I'M A HODAGER, I remember a few of the nurses laughing and that was it, the next thing I know, I am waking up in the recovery area with 2 odd looking lumps up to my chin...LOL They weren't quite that high but they felt that way...haha
I was admitted for an overnight stay on the 7th floor at AMC. I didn't realize that I was on the Oncology floor until I started recognizing alot of the nurses, I spent a lot of time with my Mom on that floor. It was kind of a comforting feeling as I knew how good of care they gave my Mom, I would be just fine! Things went well while there, I was up walking to the bathroom by 7pm that evening. I got my first real glimpse of my breasts at that time, the expanders have an awkward shape and I now have no nipples, that is probably the biggest shock for me right now. I have time to decide what to do about that, there are options of doing 3D tattoos or doing some prosthetic stuff, but I will worry about that later :-) But none the less, I shocked my nurse by how well I was doing, she had no doubt in her mind that I would be out of there on Friday.
All looked well on Friday and my surgeon said I was good to go! I was so worried that going home was going to be such a challenge, I was worried about the things that Shane had to do like strip my drains, pull out my pain pump and basically take care of me from head to toe for the next few weeks. I was so wrong, Shane stepped up to the plate and I can't thank him enough, I had nothing to worry about! He had to pull 2 lines out of my chest that were giving me lidocaine for pain, that was probably the hardest thing for him to do, as I was anxious and queezy just thinking about him doing it, but it was fast and painless :-)
I rested well for the first week and when it was time for my first follow up appt. the plastic surgeon was pleased with how everything was looking and feeling! I started this surgery with 4 drainage tubes coming out of my body, he was kind enough to remove 2 of them at the first appt.!
I had my 2nd follow up today and I was hoping and praying that those other 2 tubes would be pulled today, the criteria is to drain 30cc or less for 24 hours, well for the past 6 days I have been at 35 or 40cc. So I must keep them in until the next follow up appt. It would be unsafe to let the drainage just drain into my body and I could get sick from it, so as much as I hate these things, I am ok with them staying put. All is looking well and I go back again next Tuesday to see how progress is going. I should be starting physical therapy in 2 weeks to get some range of motion back in my arms.
I am attaching 2 pictures below, so if you choose to not want to see this portion of my blog, you will want to stop here :-)
10 days out from surgery, all is looking great!
Drainage tubes suck, they are sutured onto my body :-(
Hello, my name is Amber Bahr, I am 34 years old from Appleton, WI. I have been married to my husband Shane for almost 14 years and we have 2 children together, Caleb 13 years old and Aubree who is 12 years old. I work at Kimberly Dental as a Receptionist/Dental Asst. and could not ask for better bosses or co-workers, they are truly like a 2nd family to me!
In April 2014, I had genetic testing done to find out that I have tested positive for a mutation in 1 of my ATM Genes, which is highly linked to Breast Cancer. My Mother Sherry, also had this gene mutation and the genetic counselors highly believe it was linked to her recent passing of Breast Cancer. After much consideration and thought I made the decision to have a Prophylactic Bilateral breast mastectomy on Sept. 4, 2014.
I was asked to Blog about my journey through all of this and have my blog be shared and read by many that are going through the same thing I have been going through! I love to talk, so we will see how this all goes with putting my feelings in writing.
After much thought, I have made the choice to share pictures of my procedures along the way too, as I found out the hard way that when you Google Mastectomy, chances are you see mainly bad pictures and not many pictures of when things good well with surgery, so hopefully I can try to show you otherwise as things have been going well with my surgery. I will warn you in the Blog Post titles if there are pictures along with the post.
I am hoping to find this somewhat therapeutic and welcome your comments and feedback.
